That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
