That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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