Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no, he came in my armpit
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
