no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
