Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
