Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
where am i from again
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
