Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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