What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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