Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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