Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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