walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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