He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
