We're facebook friends in real life
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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