i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
