How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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