he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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