that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
