Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
