If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize