you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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