whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
