You're a womanizer and a bitch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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