Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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