he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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