You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
