so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My bed smells like the plague
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
