i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
