you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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