Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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