Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
