Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The best revenge is premature balding
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
