He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
