I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
