went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
