Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
