so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize