scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She's the barista slut.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry about my life...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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