Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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