we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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