My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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