How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize