apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
