I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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