guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
