I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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