I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
barbara walters just said penis...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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