i think my tv is drunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
