It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
