I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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