Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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