10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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