I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i believe in u and ur pee
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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