trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
