Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can't talk, ducks in the car
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
