I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
