it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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