you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
